Have you ever feeling so down..
Feeling that there is something In between your heart that keep distracting you from moving on..
Feel so unmotivated...feeling grey..and blue....
The first CPA exam for me ended..on last Tuesday...
This was the exam that I pay the least attention ever..
Found out last minutes for the exam date...yet found myself unconsciously on the big
Pile of paper at only 11.30pm. the day before.. While out of 5 chapter,the last page
Of chapter 2 was drowned with my saliva....
At the exam hall,I was whispering to the people around me trying to borrow a liquid
corrector!! I had my pencil case still perfectly unworn but where are all the favorite pen and erasers?
What's wrong with me? I did put a lot of effort for sure...but I lost my motivation to do the last and essential Efforts! It is over...anyway I feel relief...yes I do..
I hate changes..as I always tell people...
And then I hate the boring,dull old routines more..
When changes are happening, I felt panic,helpless..
While no changes are introduced, I found myself almost drowning with all kinds of things that go through my minds!!
It was so good to be a kid,no worries,all I know is the duties for me to go to school,have fun, sleep well...
Yes, I am scared and refused to be a grown up, I admit...
I can feel the responsibility...
I can't help but keep increasing the burdens for myself...
I can't sleep well during my day off,because there were nightmares all the time...
I am stressing up and i know.. I am trying so hard not to affect the people around me..
I kept smiling to people at work,treating them as strangers...
I kept doing houseworks but I don't get the satisfaction anymore when I finished..
Is this just some kind of hormone effect? I wish...
There was always a goal...
I am lost now...
Stay and wait or Go and fight?
Stay and support or Stress and push?
In the Real Property Company...
I am nobody...and it has been 2 months..honestly,I didn't learn anything besides doing filing and filing...
I get sick of waiting to be given a "task"...wait n wait...
Questions:"Am I wasting my time?"
This is the trigger of my "unstable" emotions.
Maybe it was just two months.. The boss said they are growing..should I just wait for a few months? Probably....
Don't bother..this is a blog to release my hard feeling....feeling so much better now....
P/s: Shiun.just saw your comments! Yes, Real Property..I wish I could sell properties one day..if I have the chance...but for now...i really know nothing...tell me more when we meet! We are going back on 24th Jan!!!!!
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it is the babies and wedding seasons!
So many new born babies around me..and they are so lovely,so irresistible...
Can I just do nothing and looked carefully into your little face?
The wedding bells keep ringing..and the wedding songs keep delivering the love....
This is a season full with love....
Can I just bath in it and worrying nothing at all?
